Can you have a friendly divorce

Even if you do decide divorce is the right path for you, you and your partner will approach the process from a place of more understanding. You will have spent time talking through each of your grievances in a structured, civil way. When a marriage ends, it causes hurt on all sides and there may be fights or unresolved problems that still eat you up. It can be easy to start using your divorce negotiations to vent some of those feelings and get back at your partner.

But at the end of the day, holding grudges causes more pain all the way around. Try to remember that this divorce is about finding a better path forward for you and your partner.

Divorce is difficult; not only are you losing a partner, but you may be losing a home and a life. You may start to feel like every concession you make in your divorce proceedings are a personal attack or an unbearable blow.

As much as you can, approach divorce negotiations from a rational, unemotional standpoint. Think about the practical implications of each concession, rather than the emotional ones.

Divorce affects more people than just you and your partner. It will impact your parents, your friends, your family, and, most of all, your children. Although your own emotions and needs in the divorce may be complex to say the least, you have to focus on the needs of your children, too.

As much as possible, try to explain to your children why the divorce is happening, and be open and non-judgmental about any questions or feelings they may have.

And never, never, never use your children as a weapon to get back at your partner. Your emotions may start to creep into negotiations, no matter how hard you try to keep things civil. You and your partner will both be losing things, and traditional negotiations can start to break down quickly. Instead of focusing on divvying things up between you and your partner, try to focus on collaborative solutions that work best for both of you.

Regardless of how you feel about your co-parent, a part of the foundation of a friendly divorce is to stand united when it comes to your kids. Start by telling your children about your divorce together. The fact remains that you will always be a family, even though things will be different. Talking about it as a family will help reinforce this with your children. Agree to tell your kids before anyone moves out of the family home, as to not add another level of shock for them.

Have some answers and other information prepared to tell your children about what will happen from here on out. They are bound to have questions, and being able to reply to a few of those immediately will help give your children confidence in your changing family structure. Doing all of this also gives you and your co-parent a chance to work together for something that you both care about: your kids.

Taking this step can help to set the groundwork for a friendly divorce down the road. A conventional journey through the family court system can, unfortunately, become quickly adversarial. Even parents who commit to working together at the beginning of their divorce may find themselves straying from that goal due to the stress of the divorce process.

Working with family law professionals who are committed to the collaborative process , and also have a strong track record showing such, can help prevent this from happening. Collaborative family law and mediation are two alternatives used by many families looking to avoid the traditional litigation process. Negotiate difficult issues away from your kids. Consider scheduling meetings outside of the house in neutral locations where you have the opportunity to get assistance from a professional, such as a mediator.

Besides being able to have tough conversations away from your kids, mediation allows you to work with an unbiased third party who can help guide your discussion. Friendly divorce is possible, but it can be hard to hear stories of amicable divorce when the pain is still fresh. Remember that a peaceful divorce is made possible by having the right strategies and tools in place from the very beginning.

Stay unified with your co-parent when it comes to matters concerning your kids. Maintaining a united front, committing to peaceful communication, and working with collaborative professionals all go hand-in-hand.

Knowing what to do after separation might not be so obvious. And scar your children for life by destroying their family. And discuss five things you'll need to do to plan an amicable divorce process from the start. Most people think amicable divorce, meaning divorcing peacefully, is a myth. But it is possible. But only if you know what a good divorce looks like and what you must do to have one.

B Your divorcing spouse disagrees with the terms your family law attorney set forth but chooses to sign off anyway just to make the divorce process end?

C You and your spouse do your best to avoid each other and be polite around the kids but are walking on eggshells and know things could go sideways at any moment? The word divorce often conjures up images of angry exes, drawn-out court battles and drained bank accounts. But you don't have to have a traditional divorce - your divorce doesn't have to be that way. You can instead approach your divorce process in ways that will allow you and your spouse to work together to end your marriage and resolve your differences productively.

Step 4: Place the needs of your children first, create a good parenting plan and be good co-parents once your divorce case is finalized. Step 5: Work through the terms of your settlement agreement in an environment of mutual respect and dignity out of court and without involving attorneys. Here's how to have an amicable divorce complete with the choices and decisions both spouses need to make:. Maybe you were compatible as spouses when you first got married but over the years your interests changed.

And you drifted apart. Or perhaps you got so wrapped up in building your career or taking care of the kids and running them from place to place you forgot to make time for each other. Regardless of the factors that led to the failure of your marriage, if you find yourself at the crossroads of divorce, the time for blame has passed.

Your only choice now is to move forward. Choose to make the decision to divorce without placing blame on each other and you stand an excellent chance of divorcing amicably. Choose to focus on the past and blame each other for what went wrong during the marriage and your chances of having an amicable divorce process go out the window. Oh, and learn how to ask for a divorce peacefully, too! You'd be amazed at the seemingly insignificant issues that can derail a divorce for many couples.

But if you want to know how to get through a divorce peacefully, you're going to have to learn to pick your battles. Before you get wrapped up discussing every divorce detail with your spouse, take the time to figure out what's most important to you - what your wants, needs and non-negotiables are. That way, you won't get caught up in the muck and will have the clarity to tackle negotiations in a more peaceful, focused manner.

This is especially critical if you and your spouse have children together. The decisions you'll need to make during your divorce will affect you and your kids for years to come. I can tell you as a child of divorce myself, that no truer words were spoken. Decisions my parents made have affected me even well into adulthood! Nobody wins in divorce, but if you focus on what's most important, like your kids and your future, instead of fighting over semantics or trying to be right, you'll improve your chances of getting an agreement you feel comfortable with and having a peaceful divorce at the same time.

The quickest way to turn your divorce into a stressful and financially ruinous disaster is to hide assets or under-report your income. On the other hand, if you want to end your marriage peacefully and have a friendly divorce, you'll need to engage in what's known as a "good faith negotiation. A good faith negotiation is one in which both parties are willing to reveal all relevant financial information and ensure, to the best of their abilities, that the information is accurate, complete and truthful.

And in turn avoid the unpleasantness associated with things like:. In a good faith negotiation, both parties agree to put all of their "cards on the table" and openly disclose all assets, debts, income, tax returns, bank accounts, etc. In many marriages, it's common for one party spouse to be more familiar with the household finances than the other so this allows each party to have access to information they might not otherwise have had.

But you do have to trust each other in order to divorce peacefully. And a good faith negotiation builds trust and will keep your divorce proceedings transparent so you can have an amicable divorce and a fair agreement. In order to divorce amicably, you must also place the needs of your family first and be good co-parents. Choosing divorce mediation will enable you to put the needs of your children first and have an amicable divorce process.

Mediation is an alternative dispute resolution process that focuses on improving relationships instead of destroying them.