What makes love hurt

Now I have very severe physical pain. Mostly burning nerve pain. There was no love at all, only beatings…tried to take my life at It is interesting that I have made a good life for myself, and now I have to deal with this debilitating pain. Sure would like to know if there is a correlation….

Studying polyvagal theory helped me understand my chronic pain quite a bit. Also there is an awesome book called The Body Keeps the Score. Understanding my rewiring has helped a lot. Look up talks given by Dr Gabor Mate. There is a direct correlation! I was sexually abused at The man hit me in my left arm after I refused to look at him play with himself.

At age 49 I went through a heart breaking experience involving my spouse and son, and every time I felt anxious or nervous, my left arm would start hurting. It got so bad I could not move my arm after a very bad emotional night. Email me. I have had a history of sexual abuse and have recently begun my first real relationship with someone and when I am with them I start to tense up in my legs. I feel my nerves prick and find it hard to be around them not because I dislike them but from what I assume is a deep ingrained fear caused from my past.

I feel for everyone posting here and am hoping that we can make a motion to better ourselves through the support and insight we provide. I have been having a lot of heart twisting and rapid beating. I have had a very secluded life. I found out I have a very rare personality type for women. Growing up I was socially excluded, treated like an alien, parents fought every night and I found out other things, rape, depression the list goes on.

I think my heart was broken so much it was dead. I think I may have pots syndrome due to these problems. My true love is with someone else, it hurts no matter where I am. I also have a lot of issues from abandonment and being sexually abused as a child.

I was totally shocked when I read the characteristics of an HSP. It was like someone was describing every aspect of me. HSP is a personality trait and is thought to be genetic. I bet most of the writers in this thread are HSP. I used to think there was something wrong with me and that there was nobody else in the world like me because I knew I felt things differently then other people.

It will at least give you clarity and understanding and in time you will notice that finding out about it has definitely improved your life. I hope this helps someone because I can truly feel your pain. Dear judy, Tonight I was just scrolling around and saw your comment.

I actually thought you wrote that about me. To hear that you went through so much pain. I could relaMy heart completely understand everything you have felt. I never can find anyone that has felt and seen what my parents did. I am now 40 and I work everyday to be better and to relearn everything I was brain washed to think. I want to chat with you if all possible. I know this is a old thread but I am hoping to reach you Tonight. I am sorry you felt so much pain.

To find another that knows this life is once in my lifetime. Here is my email and you can contact me anytime. So for me I hope you know that people like me need others that have been to those places also. So thank you for sharing your story and I would love to chat if you ever get bored. Love, forgiveness, and God are always with us. I have experienced bad ear aches depression since the loss of love, medication has helped with the pain an depression,but the no love still emotionally hurts.

I am so sorry that happened. It is horrible and it is something that should never had happened to you. I am glad you are alive and I really hope you get to live a happy and safe life with people who love and trust you.

Im so sorry you had to experience this. You are a survivor. Hi, check out the ACE study. There is a great deal of strong correlation with early childhood stressors and physical illness. One year ago ex dumped me after 4 years together, my grandma died last year and my lovely dog girl I was so attached to, my only friend, this year. My son suffers from deep schizophrenia and is in hospital now.

My financial situation is crap. How much more can you take? Recently I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. Broken heart…. Do you heal your stomach cramps?

I have the same from many years. Im feel this day by day. I was with my mum when she arrested and passed away. At the same time my mum was arresting I had chest pain. I was adopted from Russia when I was 2 years old. I live in Iowa a d I keep thinking about her. My heart aches not knowing wether she loved me or not. I believe your birth mother must have loved you very much to want you to have more than she could ever give you.

I have never had a child, but adopted one myself and I hope you will be comforted by this. Prayer and silence helps. I need to discipline myself to pray and to intentionally seek silence. How can u reach out to someone who you cant see hold or hear bit want so bad that aline kills you.

When you had been betrayed by a partner the betrayer and the betrayed are both hurting.. Its one of the most painful things to deal with when people fall out of love..

Crying is not a sign of weakness. Only you know you.. It takes someone who has walked down a similar broken path to understand. True, only you can know yourself. My wife died in September I watched her die twice: once on our couch as the paramedics worked on her and then when they removed life support.

I am still overwhelmed with the pain of losing her. My head aches and my chest hurts every time I think of her. My blood pressure is through the roof. The V. We were both disabled veterans and there are times I wonder if their lack of care for her pushed her over. Counselors have been no help whatsoever. All I know is I hurt so much and I wish she were here,. God really soes live. I found this article because I wanted to know why love and precisely what you have been talking about, lost love hurts so badly physically.

I lost my mother three years ago she was only 42 and i still think about her every day. The only thing i believe is she had 3 different liver diseases none of which born of alchohol abuse, she never drank and each disease a great pain on its own.

I have been married for 14 years but been with my husband for 23 years and I found out about him cheating. So the initial shock of it, I felt like he literally died, I mean I was in full on mourning. I did not understand but reading about all this it makes sense. Evolution is a double edged sword, no doubt.

Time for this pain to end!!! Though I can see how that works. I have to be honest with myself about reality. I hope you have found peace after your loss. My husband died just a few days after you posted your comment I wanted to die as well, if no other reason than to stop the very physical pain. It has almost been 2 years and I can honestly say it does get better. I knew my husband would not want me to be miserable and give up a life he was denied so I set out to be happy, for him.

I still have sad moments thinking of what could have been but the pain is gone and life goes on. It comes as no surprise to me that science had findings connecting loss and physical pain.

I have been running from emotional wounds surrounding abandonment all my life, as well as addictive behavior. I first became hooked on opiates in my early twenties. I always felt I was stuffing my emotions. And then you can see how the pain mechanism becomes functional—it's going to draw your attention to that. From an evolutionary perspective, he explains, it makes sense that relationships might provoke reactions from the same areas involved with physical pain.

You need to do something about this. And, MacDonald argues, that pain is probably a healthy response, especially early on in a relationship when people are susceptible to becoming obsessive about their partners.

Feeling some physical agony—such as chest pains or queasiness—may help a person adjust their expectations of their relationship, motivate them to talk to their partner about their needs or make them reassess how valuable the relationship is, he says. The question is, how concerned should we be when we experience physical discomfort we think is related to love? Emotions are a physical phenomenon," he says.

One of the bigger takeaways, MacDonald continues, is that these love-induced pains are functional. These negative emotions are part of an adaptive response and healing process," he says. Try to understand why the need is so great. There's something going on here that's bigger than this particular relationship. In honor of Valentine's Day, we're spending the week debunking myths and lies about romance. To be happy in a relationship, you and your significant other should unite as one, not only in mind but also in heart.

People suffer because they are not content with what they have. Thus, if you want to stop suffering, be grateful and treasure your current possessions. Liars always feel guilty and they have many sleepless nights. The longer lies are hidden, the more they become painful.

So if you want to suffer no more, let the truth set you free. Without trusting their partner, their mind will not be at ease. Without trusting yourself, you will not gain self-confidence. Trust is based on evidence. To trust yourself and have self-confidence, work yourself to be a better person. If you hope too much, you will more likely be disappointed.

If you hope too little, you will probably gain fewer results. Remember that the love you give away is for yours to keep for life, or even forever. Believing in someone or in yourself without doing something that will support your belief will only result to having faith in vain. Just like false hope, it will only make people frustrated and disappointed. Without humility, people in a relationship can hardly become forgiving, considerate, generous, selfless and kind.

Pride influences them to make decisions and actions that lead to hate and conflicts rather than love and peacefulness. To be happy in love, be humble — learn to allow yourself to be low in order to lift people up. They carry the burden of vengeance just to teach their sinners a lesson. Such a burden causes them suffering. So be happy in love by learning how to forgive and show mercy. People suffer in a relationship because they let money, distance, and other physical things dictate their love.

To avoid sadness , be more spiritual. Realize that true love can endure time, distance, and even the absence of material possessions. But making mistakes can become a bad habit. Each mistake you make will cause you and your partner to suffer.

So change your principle in life. Make it a habit to do the right thing. Learn from your little accomplishments rather than relying on to learn from your mistakes. Some people think that they have already given everything for love, and then they expect to be loved big-time in return.

Consequently, they become disappointed. People cannot serve and be devoted to two lovers. Either they will love the one or hate the other. When people cheat, their conscience becomes rotten and their life becomes more suffocating. They suffer from guilt and shame. Hence, be loyal to your beloved one. It will give you more time, energy, and opportunities to be happy in love. People suffer in a relationship because they keep on hurting themselves to get attention, understanding, and even to prove to someone that their love is true.

In the end, they fail to achieve personal development and grow their relationship. To avoid suffering, make sure you love someone as you love yourself, not love someone as you hurt yourself. However, to suffer from such pain is a matter of choice. Remember that true love is supposed to make you and your partner happy. Therefore, if you really love someone, choose to be happy , even though it means you have to get through the pain.

Most people believe that it really hurts to be in love. But why does love hurt? It is not possible for something that makes you feel happy can also make you feel sad, or even worse, depressed and hurt. When you fall deeply into love with one person, there is no room for anybody else. It is very true since this feeling will consume your entire body and you would literally live on thoughts about only your special someone and nothing else matters.

But sometimes falling into deep or obsessive love could jeopardize all your other existing relationships. Your special someone will be the only one you would live for and your friends or family members may feel neglected or even abandoned. This is why it hurts to be in love with just one person because this feeling that consumes your entire body and heart can make anyone feels like they are losing a part of their life left upon their loved ones who are also important to them.

You feel so secure that you think that there is no possible threat but all of sudden when you least expect it, something happens that makes you realize that this relationship will not last forever.

You have been hurt very badly by the betrayal of some fairytales story that promises eternal happiness in exchange for faithful love. Some people tend to get too possessive that they would want to own your life and give up all your other important relationships. This is not love. It is an obsession. Although love hurts, it only hurts if you love someone who does not return the feelings or if love becomes an obsession. Love may also hurt when you lose your loved ones to death, separation, or infidelity.

But it is not surprising that love hurts since we are all humans who have feelings and emotions. Love is a very powerful emotion because once this emotion gets into your system, you will be addicted to love, and it is a euphoria that will give life to your soul for as long as you live.

True love does not hurt if given in a balanced way. What happens is that we tend to get too attached to just one person or thing love object which would make us lose our sense of balance and proportion.

True love neither causes pain nor suffering but brings real joy, happiness, and fulfillment. It helps individuals achieve their dreams, hopes, and aspirations. The first answer to this love question is if you see a future in the relationship. The second answer to take note of is if you know that this is only a momentary hurdle in your relationship. You and your partner will face a lot of problems together as the years pass by, problems that will test the strength of your love for each other, so you must not give up at the first sign of conflict.